I have been having a flare for about a week now. While it has been uncomfortable physically to have my legs slightly numb, my feet feeling extremely stiff and numb, it has been even harder on me mentally this time. Maybe it’s because our wildchild is older and it is exhausting having to explain over and over again that “Mama is sick.” Or maybe it is because I have more time spent in my own head where I can let the negative self talk creep in. Who knows, but I do know that this flare is more of a mental game.
I really credit my commitment to working out with helping me to handle the physical aspects of this flare. Granted, all I can really accomplish physically right now is those workouts. With a lot of modifying of the moves of course. The house is a disaster, and Aaron is having to do all of the chicken chores right now because walking on uneven ground is a challenge. I keep apologizing to him about all the extra slack he is having to pick up, on top of working full time. I’m sure that at this point it is rather annoying because we both know that it is not my fault I ended up with Multiple Sclerosis, but I still feel the need to apologize and thank him endlessly.
Today, he sent me this letter he wrote me while at work and I immediately ugly cried. I’m not sure how I got so lucky that Aaron and I ended up together. He is right though, the stars did align for us to fall in love.
Despite this disease and what it is currently doing, I am incredibly blessed to have this beautiful life. I might be having issues walking, or taking all the stairs in the house slow (seriously, why so many?!), but I got damn lucky with my husband and my heart is full.